I like to use the word 'lifestyling' to describe my preferred mode of interacting with any given place and group of people, and my experiences on Gili Air exemplify what I mean. It is much more than a throwaway bro-culture word, it's an intentional way to explore and experience the world. It starts by showing up with an open mind, really taking the time to make friends with local people, and generally be willing to say yes if someone offers to show you something or let you tag along for an adventure (except the donkey show, never say yes to the donkey show ;).
For me, it begins with one of my favorite pieces of advice: when alone, ALWAYS sit at the bar. Also, remember that there is a world of difference between being alone and lonely; it's perfectly okay to sit by yourself, watch the world go by, and NOT use your phone to stay entertained. I make a conscious effort when I'm alone in a new place to simply sit and observe my surroundings without resorting to the easy 'out' of social media or the black hole of the interwebs. If you chill out long enough, you will end up talking to someone almost without fail. Worst case, you get time to practice mindfulness and be simply be present. It beats cat videos and political memes, trust me.
But, I digress. Back to Gili Air. After checking into my hostel, Captain Coconuts, I wandered down to the nearest watering hole and started chatting up the locals. My other favorite thing to do is to avoid Westerners. The whole point of lifestyling is to see how different people live. I can meet backpackers and have the same conversation anywhere in the world (Where are you from? How long are you traveling for? Where have you been? Where to next? Yawn...), but I can only see how people on Gili Air live by making friends with local folks. Make no mistake, I spend a fair amount of time sitting in silence, listening to people speak in languages I do not understand, but it pays off. Once it becomes clear you are genuinely interested in their life and culture, people open up and that's when the magic happens.
In this case, I ended up meeting several people with incredible life stories and experiences to share. There was the guy who worked on a cruise ship for over a decade and showed me stacks of pictures of every port of call imaginable. The construction worker who happens to be one of the best spearfishing guys on the island. The artist, aka "Coconut Man," who makes incredible jewelry by hand out of coconut shells. The list goes on and on.
If I hadn't made an effort to get to know these people, we wouldn't have spent seven hours the next day drinking wine and learning how to make coconut jewelry at our new friend's home workshop. I wouldn't have had the opportunity to go kayak spearfishing and cook our catch on the beach straight away, and I wouldn't have been invited to forage in the field for some local edibles you pay an arm and a leg for at the restaurants. It is easy to stay 'on the reservation' and pay for preplanned experiences, but if you want some realness spend your money buying a few drinks for some locals and the experiences will follow.
Here are a few pictures from our coconut jewelry-making session. The artist is on Instagram @muhsininali.
